The Draft Power Rankings and Preview Monday (and Kyle, Jason and Ben too)

3) Clemens’ ‘Roid Needles – Kyle Morris

Top Three Starters (Ranking): Liriano, Penny, Sheets (7)
Top Three Hitters (Ranking): M. Cabrera, Beltran, M. Ordonez (3)
Top Bench Guy (Ranking): Curtis Granderson (3)
Keeper Prospect (Ranking): Franklin Morales (23rd Round - 3)
Draft Grade (Ranking): B -

The reason why Kyle is at three and not higher is because of the Beltran selection. Had he selected another pitcher or position player that did not play centerfield I would have liked his draft more. Kyle has the potential to have one of the best pitching staff in the league. The only problem is that two of his top three guys are coming off of difficult injuries. I think Penny has one more good year in him before he begins to slide off.

2) Krunk Smurfs – Jason Willey

Top Three Starters (Ranking): Bedard, Harang, Burnett (2)
Top Three Hitters (Ranking): AROD, C. Lee, Soriano (2)
Top Bench Guy (Ranking): Jeff Kent (4)
Keeper Prospect (Ranking): Andre Ethier (27th Round - 1)
Draft Grade (Ranking): B -

His pitching staff is thin in depth and A.J. Burnett could get hurt by a small gust of wind, but he has the most balance of anybody in the league at this point. Having AROD will solve any down years from anyone in his line up. Andre Ethier was an absolute steal in the 27th round and is my top keeper prospect at this point.

1) Kansas City Inoculators - Ben Nielsen

Because I wrote this.

***

Phantom Menaces vs. KC

Player of the Week: Manny Ramirez
Underachiever of the Week: Jonathan Papelbon
Projected Score: 326.5 – 276.5

Prediction
Manny Ramirez will hit three home runs and drive in 11 in the first week of what will be a huge season for the player who finds himself in a contract year. Unfortunately, Ramirez’ Red Sox will start the season under .500 due to two blown saves by young closer Jonathan Papelbon. KC will take advantage of this by getting solid weeks from Vladimir Guerrero and Travis Hafner to win the week. KC over Phantom Menaces.

Smurfs vs. The Zou

Player of the Week: Alex Rodriguez
Underachiever of the Week: Ryan Braun
Projected Score: 378.5 - 76

Prediction
Alex Rodriguez pretends as if the baseball was Jose Conseco’s head and pounds out four opening week home runs. While AROD is running the bases, Ryan Braun suddenly remembers that his rookie season was entirely insane and decides to make up for it by going 1 for 17 with eight strikeouts. Add the DL stints for Gallardo and Smoltz will turn deadly as Oswalt, Lincecum and Hamels will each suffer terrible Opening Week outings. Erik will also finally realize that half of his team is in the minor leagues. Smurfs over Zou.

CRN vs. BGD

Player of the Week: Hideki Matsui
Underachiever of the Week: Fausto Carmona
Projected Score: 341 – 297.5

Prediction
Fresh off his marriage to an Anima character of a reputable employee, Matsui joins AROD to bash out three homers and three doubles in addition to winning another bet with Derrek Jeter and Bobby Abreu. Life will not be so great for Fausto Carmona when he realizes that he is not nearly as good as he was last season. In a panic, he hits A.J. Pierzynski in the head with a fastball, leading to a brawl and the eventual ejection and suspension of Carmona. Oh, and Ben Sheets gets hurt on his first pitch of the season. You would think this would mean an easy win for BGD, but you are wrong. Because the LM feels BGD is such a terrible name, he awards CRN 50 additional points to guarantee his victory and to send a message to BGD to change his freaking team name. CRN over BGD.

Cockies vs. Rasmi

Player of the Week: N/A
Underachiever of the Week: Matt Holliday
Projected Score: -13.5 – (-13.5)

Prediction
This matchup is terrible; I refuse to make a legitement prediction. The matchup ends in a tie.

Halo’s vs. Inoculators

Player of the Week: Prince Fielder
Underachiever of the Week: Bobby Abreu
Projected Score: 386 - 312

Prediction
Dismayed that he lost the bet between Jeter, Matsui and himself, Abreu begins the season in a slump worse than the one he had last season. In a panic, Andrew drops him and picks up Mike Moustakas because his has “good upside.” Unfortunately for Andrew (and Erik), minor league stats don’t count. On the bright side for Andrew, Ben’s teams historically start insanely slow meaning an easy win for Andrew. Halo’s over Inoculators.