Sunday, May 18, 2008

Yes, I'm Bitter (and Ben too)

Points for leaders:
Phantom Menaces - 2121.5
Halos - 2080.5
Inoculators - 2014
Rasmus’ - 1997.5
Dynamite - 1964
Zou - 1890
Cockies – 1879
Roid Needles - 1766.5
Smurfs - 1663
KC - 1634.5

Points Against Leaders:
Dynamite - 2242.5
Inoculators - 2055.5
Rasmus’ - 1992.5
Zou - 1950
KC - 1910
Roid Needles - 1909.5
Smurfs - 1820.5
Cockies - 1800.5
Halos - 1694.5
Phantom Menaces – 1635

Standings with +/- point differential:
Phantom Menaces: 5-1 (+486.5)
Zou: 4-2 (-60)
Smurfs: 3-3 (-157.5)
Inoculators: 2-4 (- 41.5)
Rasmus’: 2-4 (+5)

Halos: 4-2 (+386)
Cockies: 4-2 (+78.5)
Roid Needles: 3-3 (-143)
KC: 2-4 (-275.5)
Dynamite: 1-5 (-278.5)

The above standings and stats were accumulated after the games on 5/17.

I hate fantasy baseball. You want to know why? I’m the most unlucky son of a bitch alive. Don’t believe me? Look above you imbecile! I’ve managed to score the third most points in our league this year, and am only a few substitutions away from scoring the most. My understanding is, that in fantasy baseball, one is supposed to score as many points as possible and, by the looks of it, I’m doing quite well. One problem though, I’M FREAKING UNLUCKY!

Am I bitter? Yes. Am I desperate? You bet.

Now, before you go off on how unlucky the Dynamite are, let me be clear about something: I don’t care. Screw him and his terrible name. I’M unlucky and that’s all I care about. If they Dynamite wants to claim something, he can write his own post. Until then, I AM the MOST unlucky team in this freaking league. I don’t care if facts are getting in the way of that. As Stephen Colbert would say, facts come from the gut, and my gut tells me I’m freaking unlucky. And hungry.

News and Notes:

Remember that one time, at the draft, when I said Cliff Lee sucked and wouldn't do anything this year? Yeah, I retract that statement.

Top Three Kept Hitters:
Albert Pujols: 244 pts
Chase Utley: 239 pts
Hanley Ramirez: 235 pts

Top Three Kept Pitchers:
Tim Lincecum: 235 pts
Jake Peavy: 172 pts
Johan Santana: 165 pts

The “Where the f*** did he come from?” Award (Hitter):
Nate McLouth – 249 pts
HM: Carlos Quentin – 224 pts

The “Where the f*** did he come from?” Award (Pitcher):
Edinson Volquez – 225.5 pts
HM: Todd Wellemeyer – 141 pts