Opinion Tuesday (and mostly everyone else too)

It is my hope and dream that one day everyone has something published on a Tuesday sometime this season. You can write about anything: baseball, fantasy baseball, football, politics, how retarded SBU is, the insanity of gas prices, Family Guy, LOST, HEROES, the new Batman movie, how bad SportsCenter is now, how much you hate Jason, how much you hate Joel and Adam’s team names, why everyone should vote for Obama, why XBOX 360 is better than the PS3, the virtues of MVP ’05, when is Madden franchise going to be good again, how stupid you think I am for writing blog posts about a fantasy baseball league, how much you dislike George W. Bush*, why the Royals are better than the Cardinals this season, Dr. Pepper, Buffalo Wild Wings, crazy Packers fans at Buffalo Wild Wings that drink Dr. Pepper, the writings of Bill Simmons, The Daily Show, why women are idiots, the economy, KU/mu, how crappy Dell computers are, CNN, HOUSE, Jessica Alba, Taco Bell, the Dictionary, Harry Potter, Facebook and other things you may think about.

This week’s Tuesday opinion is about why I’m going to beat the crap out of all of you guys in fantasy baseball this season.

First, I have no intention of starting the season 0-5 again. I’m confident about this because I am willing to alter the scores in my favor if necessary to make sure it doesn’t happen.

Second, the division I’m in sucks. Erik has half of his team in the minor leagues. Most of Tony’s team plays for the Cardinals. Kimball will be too busy watching the Simpsons to realize his best players are on the DL. I am going to rig Jason’s team to be sure he never wins a game because I hate him so much.

Third, I didn’t have to draft for half the league this season, which means my draft won’t be nearly as bad as it was last year (I hope).

Fourth, Erik used up all of his luck last year and will not repeat as champion this year.

Fifth, Kansas didn’t lose to Davidson. This has nothing to do with why I am going to win the league, but I just wanted to mention that KU finally didn’t choke against an inferior team in a big game. And Mizzou sucks. You can have your 36-28, loss in the Big XII Championship game, Cotton Bowl win and CBI snub and I’ll take my Final Four and BCS bowl win.

Sixth, I intend to trade all my crappy players for all of Andrew’s best players in May.

Finally, I control all of the trophies and can, therefore, declare myself champion if necessary.

Terrible luck to all of you losers.

*For as much as I dislike George Bush as a President, he really is the kind of guy you would want to have a beer (or some other Baptist approved drink) with. Listening to him talk to Joe Morgan and whoever the fat white dude is on ESPN Sunday during the Braves/National games was rather refreshing. He was cracking jokes and seemed like the kind of guy you would want to hang out with. I’m sure he’s got some crazy stories (besides the one’s where breaks a whole bunch of international laws and assassinates another country’s leader, but that is not the point). He even make it sound like he was going to the Ukraine to hang out and have a good time. Who wouldn’t want to hang out with that guy? Too bad he’s a terrible president, otherwise I may want to have an unapproved Baptist drink with him.