The Story of CC Sabathia

He is a large man; towering and imposing. His face is a deep darkness, staring straight at you with an intensity that can be taken in by all the senses. He is impossible to miss.

There was no way, not with everything on the line, CC Sabathia was going to allow the cursed Cubs to take away the Brewers shot at a playoff berth. So with this in mind and on three days rest, Sabathia tossed a four-hit, seven strikeout gem that would send the Brewers to their first playoff appearance since Robin Yount manned shortstop. And as the Brewers celebrated, Andrew Wessley sat in his chair soaking in his first fantasy baseball title and thanking the baseball gods for the good fortune of having one CC Sabathia.

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The road of CC Sabathia in The League is an odd story, one no one would expect.

As noted by Kyle Morris, Sabathia’s undrafted status in 2007 was hard to believe.

“That’s ridiculously hard to believe,” Morris said. “Considering he had a 3.22 ERA in 2006 the year before The League was started.” His disbelief was palpable. “Are you sure no one drafted him? I can’t imagine anyone who had an ERA under four going completely undrafted.”

But it was true. The first draft of the new The League was a tough one. Three individuals – Erik Johnson, Jeff Kimball and Casey Allen – failed to attend the draft. The absence of these individuals left The League Manager, Ben Nielsen, between a rock and a hard place.

“It was tough,” Nielsen said. “There was a lot going on. It was the first time I had ever run a live draft, three people were not there and Jason Wiley kept exiting the chat room. Between all of that and drafting for four people, I lost track of what was going on.”

And, apparently, so did many people in The League. While it was perfectly acceptable for individuals like Joel Schilb and Tony Allen to make absolutely ridiculous decisions, watching Wessley pass on Sabathia round after round made the whole situation more perplexing.

“I remember watching the draft thinking that somebody was going to take him,” Wessley may or may not have said. “I remember thinking maybe if I wait another round, I can get him even lower. Before I knew it, the draft was over and Sabathia was not selected. I was astonished. I am also gay.”

So there Sabathia was, alone and without a team. But he wouldn’t go unnoticed for long.

“I remember entering everyone’s draft,” Nielsen recalls. “I remember being about six or seven teams in and noticing that Sabathia was still there. I looked at the last team I had to enter and saw Sabathia wasn’t on that team either. I remember thinking, ‘Andrew is a retarded homosexual.’ Either that or I was thinking, ‘I’ve got to pick Sabathia up right after I finalize the draft.’ One of those two. Maybe both. Probably both.”

Immediately after the draft was entered, Nielsen picked Sabathia up off of waivers and added him to his team. He thought he had a steal.

“I thought I had a steal,” Nielsen said.

But, for some reason unknown to man or Nielsen, Sabathia was mysteriously dropped from the Inoculators roster.

“I have no idea what happened or why I decided to drop him before week two - I’ll never know,” Nielsen said.

He’ll never know because after the first week of the season, ESPN had a major malfunction that required all of the rosters to be reset. The resetting of all the rosters permanently erased all knowledge of Sabathia’s addition or subtraction. What we do know is that, in week two, Sabathia appears on Johnson’s roster, netting him 41 points in a win over Nielsen’s Inoculators.

“Fate is a bitch,” Nielsen quipped.

Between April 10 and July 29, Sabathia was who we thought he was, so we justifiably crowned his ass. Sabathia struck out 143 batters and won 12 games for the Indians in that span and pushed Johnson into The League lead.

“I was happy to take Nielsen’s trash,” Johnson assholishly said. “As a matter of fact, I also picked up Ryan Braun after Ben dropped him. Nielsen pretty much won The League for me that year.”

“Bastard,” Nielsen said.

On August 1st, Andrew Wessley was in the midst of one of the worst fantasy seasons in history. I mean he sucked bad. For some reason unknown to intelligent man, he traded all of his best players to Nielsen for all of his worst players, putting him in a situation at the trading deadline where he was looking to add a keeper or two for the 2008 season.

“Ben Nielsen has to be the greatest baseball mind I have ever known,” Wessley recalled. “I mean, he’s just so freaking smart. If he was luckier, he would dominate this league hands down. Unfortunately for him, I’m the luckiest bastard in the world so… yeah, I’m gay.”

Wessley, looking for keeper prospects, turned to Johnson who was in a playoff chase with Nielsen and was looking to add one more arm to put him over the top.

“He wanted Hamels,” Wessley remembered. “While I really felt Hamels was a good keeper prospect, I felt that Sabathia was a better one. And since he went undrafted, it just made that much more sense for me to part ways with Hamels and add Sabathia.”

Wessley sent Cole Hamels, Daisuke Matsuzaka and Fausto Carmona to Johnson for Justin Verlander and CC Sabathia. Wessley would keep both Verlander and Sabathia for the 2008 season.

“I still to this day have no idea how Sabathia wasn’t drafted,” Wessley said.

“I do,” Nielsen said. “I was drafting for freaking half The League and Andrew, Tony and Joel are all idiots. How, in the comfort of your own home and with nothing to do in between picks, could you possibly miss the fact that CC Sabathia was not drafted? Seriously, how stupid do you have to be? Furthermore, how stupid to you have to be to agree to draft for four people? I think it must be noted that three of the four teams that made the playoffs that year were drafted by me – nobody ever recognizes this. I’m bitter! And Andrew is gay.”

Point taken.