Reviewed: Jeff Kimball

Team: Polk County Homer-Hulks
Owner: Jeff Kimball
Draft Pick Order: 8th Overall

Top Ten Rounds Evaluation (ADP Round)*
1 – Justin Morneau (2)
2 – Roy Halladay (2)
3 – Alex Gordon (10)
4 – Alex Rios (4)
5 – Robinson Cano (7)
6 – Joey Votto (6)
7 – John Danks (15)
8 – Yunel Escobar (n/a)
9 – Joe Saunders (15)
10 – J.J. Putz (n/a)

Thoughts:

Excuse me, I’m going to need an adult beverage before I begin…

One didn’t work, I’m going to have to go back for another. Hold on…

[Eight drinks later…]

ALriGt tHAt ShOUld DO it. WWWWWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTT TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

***

[Four days ago, in a small church room in Bolivar, Missouri, Jeff Kimball sits amongst several strangers at an "Overdraftaholics Annonymous" meeting and begins to pour out what has been ailing him for the last several days.]

Kimball: Hello, I’m Jeff Kimball and I’m an overdraftaholic. A few weeks ago, I drafted Alex Gordon at least seven rounds too high.

[Mutters from the rest of the group of “I’ve been there buddy.”]

Group Leader: I’m glad you can admit that, Jeff. Now for –

Kimball: Wait, I’m not done yet. I also took John Danks in the seventh round.

[A few glance from some of the members suggest that Kimball is a hard-core overdraftaholic.]

Group Leader: I’m glad for your honesty, Jeff. Now –

Kimball: I also took two 15th round projected picks with my seventh and ninth round picks.

[One group member begins to cry, another man curses aloud. The Group Leader is starting to feel over-burdened and starts to sweat a little.]

Group Leader (voice trembling): Good… good, Jeff. We’re going… we’re… work thru this... we will.

Kimball (his face devoid of emotion): I also took two players in the top 10 rounds who were not even drafted in the top 21 rounds of normal, non-keeper drafts.

[Mass suicide occurs.]

Kimball (amongst the carnage): What? What did I say? Aw, come on guys!

***

Best (and Worst) Mid to Late Round Picks

Best:
Um… Jorge Posada. Yeah, Posada could be a steal in round twenty-three. He could…

Worst:
Let’s go with rounds one thru 25 (minus round 23 of course). Look, I’m just going to assume that Kimball had a list of guys he wanted and just went with it no matter the round. I’m sure that’s what he did. Positive. I hope…

Starting Positional Breakdown

C – Jorge Posada: Well, it was either him or Bengie Molina…

1B – Justin Morneau: I would like him a lot more if I knew Joe Mauer was healthy and that Carlos Gomez was going to take the necessary steps to be a good leadoff hitter this season. Alas, I don’t know either of those things.

2B – Robinson Cano: It could be worse. A mid-range second baseman at best.

3B – Alex Gordon: For Kimball’s sake, the Royals season’s sake and for my sanity, I hope Alex Gordon goes off this season. Oh Lord, I hope.

SS – Ryan Theriot: Theriot is an excellent mid-range option at shortstop. Theriot will split time with Yunel Escobar for Kimball. Escobar is another mid-range guy. Kimball has a lot of those mid-range kind of guys on his team.

LF – Pat Burrell: I suspect a drop off from Burrell this season from last. I also don’t like all the good pitching he is going to see in the AL East.

CF – Shane Victorino: The Flyin’ Hawaiian is an excellent gel guy in a lineup full of gel guys.

RF – Alex Rios: Has a high ceiling, but you have to wonder if he’ll ever reach it. His strikeouts and lack of power concern me.

UT – Joey Votto: A good prospect for a breakout season in a hitter’s park.

SP1 – Cliff Lee: Massive drop-off forthcoming in a fortnight. Just wanted to say “fortnight” that’s all…

SP2 – Roy Halladay: One of only three pitchers I felt could reasonably be picked in the top three rounds. Oh, and he’s really good.

SP3 – Scott Baker: DL’d for the moment. Solid pitcher, but you’ve got to worry about his strikeout rate in relation to fantasy.

FLEX – Josh Johnson: Supposedly, he’s going to win the NL Cy Young… and so are half the other pitchers in the National League. I hate preseason predictions.

RP – Jonathan Papelbon: Stud. Health is an issue, though.

RP – J.J. Putz: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm… It could be worse I suppose…

RP – Kevin Gregg: Oh God, it got worse.

General Thoughts:

I’d rather not talk about it…

Sarcastic Statement:

Championship!!!

Final Statement

I’d still rather not talk about it. Really, I don’t want to. Seriously, shut up, I don’t want to talk about it!

*Average Draft Position by Round via ESPN’s Live and Mock Drafts as of March 14, adjusted for keepers.