Friday Power Rankings

Friday Power Rankings will be a feature where I rank random things that may have nothing to do with fantasy baseball or sports in general. Basically, it will show you how much time I have on my hands and how lazy I felt at the time. This week is my serious try at ranking all 10 fantasy teams based only on pitching staffs.

Here are the criteria that I used: 99% personal biased opinion, 1% can I find a way to piss someone off by ranking them lower by irrationally pounding on a guy. Actually, you should probably reverse those percentages.

10 – Joel
Guy I Like: J.J. Putz – He’s going to get a lot of save opportunities and he’ll convert most of them.
Guy I Dislike: Jeremy Guthrie – He’ll get little support for a terrible team.
Guy Who Could Surprise: Barry Zito – It would surprise me if he had a good season.
Guy Who I’d Like to Have a Beer With: Pedro Martinez – He may bring Lil’ Pedro with him!

9 – Kimball
Guy I Like: Carlos Zambrano – With the contract talks behind him, he’ll have a more consistent season.
Guy I Dislike: Cliff Lee – I dislike him mostly because he sucks now.
Guy Who Could Surprise: Cliff Lee – I recognize it is possible he may decide not to suck anymore.
Guy Who I’d Like to Have a Beer With: Jered Weaver – It’d be fun to make fun of his brother for sucking.

8 – Kyle
Guy I Like: Brad Penny – He’s so freaking good.
Guy I Dislike: Fausto Carmona – There is no way he duplicates what he did last season.
Guy Who Could Surprise: Ben Sheets – It would surprise me if he made it all season without getting hurt.
Guy Who I’d Like to Have a Beer With: Brian Bannister – Anything he said would blow my mind.

7 – Adam
Guy I Like: Chris Young – Because he plays in Petco or whatever SD’s park name is now.
Guy I Dislike: Tom Glavine – He’s done.
Guy Who Could Surprise: Derek Lowe – It would surprise me if he were good this season.
Guy Who I’d Like to Have a Beer With: Todd Jones – He looks like he could win a lot of bar fights.

6 – Erik
Guy I Like: Roy Oswalt – He may be the best pitcher in the game (Yeah, I just wrote that!).
Guy I Dislike: Cole Hamels – He will go on the DL at least twice this season.
Guy Who Could Surprise: Jeremy Bonderman – Seriously, he’s not that good.
Guy Who I’d Like to Have a Beer With: Boof Bonser – The dude’s name is “Boof”… come on!

5 – Andrew
Guy I Like: Jon Lester – He beat cancer, how can you not like him?
Guy I Dislike: C.C. Sabathia and Justin Verlander – Neither will have the seasons they did last year.
Guy Who Could Surprise: Kelvim Escobar – Hey, he could heal quickly… (Nice 10th round pick!)
Guy Who Could Surprise Part II: Edinson Volquez – “Who are you and what are you doing here?”
Guy Who I’d Like to Have a Beer With: N/A

4 – Tony
Guy I Like: Johan Santana – Second best pitcher in the game.
Guy I Dislike: Adam Wainwright – For all the obvious reasons… and he’s a Cardinal.
Guy Who Could Surprise: Nate Robertson – It would surprise me if he didn’t suck this season.
Guy Who I’d Like to Have a Beer With: Santana – So I can thank him for leaving the AL Central.

3 – Casey
Guy I Like: Brandon Webb – Active most under-rated Cy Young Award winner.
Guy I Dislike: N/A
Guy Who Could Surprise: Kevin Correia – Because I have no idea who he is.
Guy Who I’d Like to Have a Beer With: Zack Greinke – Words can’t describe why.

2 – Jason
Guy I Like: Chien-Ming Wang – His last name is “Wang”… hehe…
Guy I Dislike: Aaron Harang, Erik Bedard, Jeff Francis, Johnny Cueto – Personal reasons.
Guy Who Could Surprise: A.J. Burnett – It’s possible he could stop walking people… doubtful.
Guy Who I’d Like to Have a Beer With: Harang – So I could break his arm.

1 – Ben
I’m number one! I’m number one!