A miricle happened yesterday. No, The Zou did not break fifty points. The Cardinals actually won a baseball game. I assume it was on accident. Wake me up when they actually beat somebody good, like, say, the Tigers or the Red Sox or something to that caliber. 'Till then, I'll be watching the with amazement as Royals starter after Royals starter continues to do better than Chris Carpenter, Carlos Zambrano, Roy Oswalt, Aaron Harang, Ben Sheets and, oh, whoever it is who pitches for the Pirates. Ian Snell I guess????
Well, maybe not ALL of those guys. But for sure WAY better than Chris Carpenter. Way better. I guess Zambrano can almost equal Carpenter's crappiness. Just ask BF/300. But just almost.
TRADE REVIEWS THAT HAVE ALREADY BEEN DONE. NOW I AM COMING UP WITH MORE WORDS TO CONTINUE THE TREND OF UNNECESSARILY LONG TITLES, HEADLINES AND CAPTIONS. I THINK THIS WILL DO NOW. NOW, ON TO THE POINTS THAT ARE SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN UNDER THE HEADLINE!
There have been precisely THREE trades in the opening week of the season. This is not a bad number really. It is my duty to rip all three of these trades to shreds and tell you who was the "Winner" and who was the "Idiot" (Ha! you were expecting "loser" there weren't ya?). We will dissect these trades chronologically (You know, for a guy who wants to write for a living, I sure can't spell. I've already used the "Spell Check" five times. I suck.).
TRADE #1: BF/300 sends SS Edgar Renteria and CF Tori Hunter to the "I Need a New Name" Schilbies for LF Matt Holliday and 1B Kevin Youkilis
This trade was done out of necessity. Both BF/300 and , um, lets call them....the Pansies (for both the cheesy attempt at using his name in the team name and general, well, pansiness) failed to draft specific players for specific positions.
BF/300 is the obvious winner of this trade. I'd be surprised to see either Hunter or Renteria in the Pansies line-up come the end of the month. While Youkilis is going to have to be replaced at some point by BF/300, Holliday will put up huge numbers for him coming off the bench or in a starting role, using the thin air of Colorado to pad his stats.
Rule #1: Never trade a productive player from Colorado unless you are getting a high return for him or the franchise is temporarily moving their home games to Kansas for some inexplicable reason.
TRADE #2: Tones trade RF/LF Nick Markakis to the 2005 Royals (aka The Zou) for 3B Troy Glaus
This was a "depth" trade for the Tones. The trade gave the Tones a 3B to back up Ryan Zimmerman while defending NL batting champion Freddy Sanchez sits on the DL.
Markakis, honestly, does nothing for the 2003 Tigers (aka The Zou). The have more holes than, well, I can't think of anything that has more holes than the Zou. Man, The Zou sucks.
Winner: None.
Loser: None. Well, assuming you are not talking about how bad the Zou is , but that is a different subject.
Final Judgement: Push, with an edge to the Tones because of the depth issue.
TRADE #3: The Pansies send 2B Jeff Kent, 2B Robinson Cano and OF Maglio Ordonez to the Blackhawks for 2B Brian Roberts and SP Anibal Sanchez, Blackhawks release Curtis Granderson.
This trade is sort of goofy and has half of the Leagues second baseman in it. The Pansies upgrade the spot by putting the pre-season second-rated second baseman in his line-up and adds a decent backup pitcher to his rotation. He also gained a free roster spot in the trade.
The Blackhawks gain a better Fantasy RF to replace Ryan Freel and help clean up the chaos that is the Blackhawks' starting pitching rotation by taking a name out of the mix. They also gain options at what to do at second base and add trade pieces for possible, may near future, deals.
Overall, the Winner here has to be the Pansies because of the huge upgrade he made in his blackhole of an infield. It now seems to be stabilizing.
The future will tell if the Blackhawks were idiots in this trade. If the secondbase position remains stable and Ordonez proves to be more productive than Freel, than you cannot consider this a terrible trade. Maybe , at the most, a questionable one, but definitely not a terrible one.
Final Verdict: To be determined...
MID-WEEK POWER RANKINGS...AND OTHER WORDS TOO
Rankings, and one thought per team:
1) Tones - If the pitching stays continues to be what it has been (through a whoping one start each) this team will be near unbeatable.
2) Smurfs/Blue Bats (SBU prevents me from using the word "Balls" here...) - Imagine how good they would be if they had a LEFT FIELDERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
3) Blackhawks - I...I...I just don't know what to say here. I suck.
4) KC - I will not make a joke about making out with his sister. I will not make a joke about making out with his sister. I will not make a joke about making out with his sister... So...umm...yeah...How's school goin'?...I WANT TO MAKE OUT WITH YOUR SISTER! Crap. I suck at self-control. Good thing I'm not staying at his house this weekend. Wait......
5) Schilb/Panies - Dude, get a new name, you move up a spot or two. That's all I ask.
THIS SPOT IS KIMBALL
7) The Zou/Suckfest - At their worst, they are the 2003 Tigers. At their best, they are the 2005 Royals. This only furthers the stereotype that anybody associated with the University of Missouri has no idea how to run a program.
8) BF/300 - Don't wanna comment on the BLOG? Gonna try to beat me this week? Then this is where you end up Momma's Basement Boy.
OTHER THINGS YOU SHOULD READ WHILE YOU HAVE THE TIME. iF YOU DON'T THEN YOU WILL BE CURSED, JUST AS THE ZOU HAS BEEN CURSED. OR YOU WILL JUST BE DUMB. SOMETHING LIKE THAT. JUST CLICK THE LINKS.
If you haven't gotten the point yet, start paying attention...
Yes, awkward...
I don't know if I like this or MLB.TV...
Blue Springs Props...
Speaking of Buhner...
I don't know if I like this new change in the Bowling world, but what do I know?
Well, maybe not ALL of those guys. But for sure WAY better than Chris Carpenter. Way better. I guess Zambrano can almost equal Carpenter's crappiness. Just ask BF/300. But just almost.
TRADE REVIEWS THAT HAVE ALREADY BEEN DONE. NOW I AM COMING UP WITH MORE WORDS TO CONTINUE THE TREND OF UNNECESSARILY LONG TITLES, HEADLINES AND CAPTIONS. I THINK THIS WILL DO NOW. NOW, ON TO THE POINTS THAT ARE SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN UNDER THE HEADLINE!
There have been precisely THREE trades in the opening week of the season. This is not a bad number really. It is my duty to rip all three of these trades to shreds and tell you who was the "Winner" and who was the "Idiot" (Ha! you were expecting "loser" there weren't ya?). We will dissect these trades chronologically (You know, for a guy who wants to write for a living, I sure can't spell. I've already used the "Spell Check" five times. I suck.).
TRADE #1: BF/300 sends SS Edgar Renteria and CF Tori Hunter to the "I Need a New Name" Schilbies for LF Matt Holliday and 1B Kevin Youkilis
This trade was done out of necessity. Both BF/300 and , um, lets call them....the Pansies (for both the cheesy attempt at using his name in the team name and general, well, pansiness) failed to draft specific players for specific positions.
BF/300 is the obvious winner of this trade. I'd be surprised to see either Hunter or Renteria in the Pansies line-up come the end of the month. While Youkilis is going to have to be replaced at some point by BF/300, Holliday will put up huge numbers for him coming off the bench or in a starting role, using the thin air of Colorado to pad his stats.
Rule #1: Never trade a productive player from Colorado unless you are getting a high return for him or the franchise is temporarily moving their home games to Kansas for some inexplicable reason.
TRADE #2: Tones trade RF/LF Nick Markakis to the 2005 Royals (aka The Zou) for 3B Troy Glaus
This was a "depth" trade for the Tones. The trade gave the Tones a 3B to back up Ryan Zimmerman while defending NL batting champion Freddy Sanchez sits on the DL.
Markakis, honestly, does nothing for the 2003 Tigers (aka The Zou). The have more holes than, well, I can't think of anything that has more holes than the Zou. Man, The Zou sucks.
Winner: None.
Loser: None. Well, assuming you are not talking about how bad the Zou is , but that is a different subject.
Final Judgement: Push, with an edge to the Tones because of the depth issue.
TRADE #3: The Pansies send 2B Jeff Kent, 2B Robinson Cano and OF Maglio Ordonez to the Blackhawks for 2B Brian Roberts and SP Anibal Sanchez, Blackhawks release Curtis Granderson.
This trade is sort of goofy and has half of the Leagues second baseman in it. The Pansies upgrade the spot by putting the pre-season second-rated second baseman in his line-up and adds a decent backup pitcher to his rotation. He also gained a free roster spot in the trade.
The Blackhawks gain a better Fantasy RF to replace Ryan Freel and help clean up the chaos that is the Blackhawks' starting pitching rotation by taking a name out of the mix. They also gain options at what to do at second base and add trade pieces for possible, may near future, deals.
Overall, the Winner here has to be the Pansies because of the huge upgrade he made in his blackhole of an infield. It now seems to be stabilizing.
The future will tell if the Blackhawks were idiots in this trade. If the secondbase position remains stable and Ordonez proves to be more productive than Freel, than you cannot consider this a terrible trade. Maybe , at the most, a questionable one, but definitely not a terrible one.
Final Verdict: To be determined...
MID-WEEK POWER RANKINGS...AND OTHER WORDS TOO
Rankings, and one thought per team:
1) Tones - If the pitching stays continues to be what it has been (through a whoping one start each) this team will be near unbeatable.
2) Smurfs/Blue Bats (SBU prevents me from using the word "Balls" here...) - Imagine how good they would be if they had a LEFT FIELDERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
3) Blackhawks - I...I...I just don't know what to say here. I suck.
4) KC - I will not make a joke about making out with his sister. I will not make a joke about making out with his sister. I will not make a joke about making out with his sister... So...umm...yeah...How's school goin'?...I WANT TO MAKE OUT WITH YOUR SISTER! Crap. I suck at self-control. Good thing I'm not staying at his house this weekend. Wait......
5) Schilb/Panies - Dude, get a new name, you move up a spot or two. That's all I ask.
THIS SPOT IS KIMBALL
7) The Zou/Suckfest - At their worst, they are the 2003 Tigers. At their best, they are the 2005 Royals. This only furthers the stereotype that anybody associated with the University of Missouri has no idea how to run a program.
8) BF/300 - Don't wanna comment on the BLOG? Gonna try to beat me this week? Then this is where you end up Momma's Basement Boy.
OTHER THINGS YOU SHOULD READ WHILE YOU HAVE THE TIME. iF YOU DON'T THEN YOU WILL BE CURSED, JUST AS THE ZOU HAS BEEN CURSED. OR YOU WILL JUST BE DUMB. SOMETHING LIKE THAT. JUST CLICK THE LINKS.
If you haven't gotten the point yet, start paying attention...
Yes, awkward...
I don't know if I like this or MLB.TV...
Blue Springs Props...
Speaking of Buhner...
I don't know if I like this new change in the Bowling world, but what do I know?
1 comment:
you mean like when the Cardinals beat the Tigers in the world series?
anyway...keep up the blogging and i will keep decimating the entire league with my unstoppable team
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