AROD, Mid-Week Power Rankings and Worthless Stuff

Yay sportsmanship!

PAP Meter: “Dear [Albert], I hate your stinking guts. You make me vomit. You are scum between my toes. Love, [Ben]”

Five home runs. 12 runs batted in. Seven hits. Four games. 32 fantasy points. You know what the sad part about Alex Rodriguez monster four game stretch is? He is not even the best offensive fantasy player on the Smurfs so far this week (Carlos Beltran – 36 points). Add Rickie Weeks’ 25 points and you have 93 points between three players. That is 94 more points than the entire Blackhawks pitching staff.

It is numbers like these that has led me to one conclusion: I need a name change.

Consider this:

Week One Opponent -300*: We all remember the steroid scandal that happened that week. What you don’t remember? Huston Street’s 25.5 points. He now resides on the 300* bench. Solomon Torres who had a key save at the end of the week? Not even on his roster.

Week Two Opponent – The Zou: The Zou had 74.5 points in week one. Their follow up for week two? A cool 319.5…with nearly THE SAME ROSTER! What?!?!?!?!

While this was going on… Albert Pujols is having the worst offensive start of his career and so is Manny Ramirez. I had a day where three pitchers have the following line: 21 IP, 2 ER, 8 BB, 12 K and 3 Quality Starts. Their record? 1-2. ONE AND TWO! On the same day, Mr. Guillen decided to not bring in his closer until there was one out in the ninth to prevent him from getting the save. So, the total points for three of the four pitchers? 1. One. Uno.

Week Three Opponent – Smurfs: AROD goes crazy off. Beltran goes crazy off. Weeks goes off. Webb strikes out 13 in eight innings.

What happens to me? I have 114 point offensive start DWARFED by Smurfs who only needed THREE players to almost make up the difference. Todd Jones blew a save to the ROYALS of all people.

Yep, I suck.

Actually, no, I don’t suck. I am cursed. It makes sense doesn’t it? I mean, when was the last time someone blew a save to the Royals? Really?

So I have decided to change my name to better reflect something that resembles curs-ed-ness…er…something like that.

Here it is:

You ready?

I am now officially the….Blue Springs Royal-Cubs.

I think it captures, not just the cursedness, but also the “I suck really bad” ness.

If you think you have any better suggestions, I will gladly take them.

ABOUT THAT AROD GUY…

Rodriguez is 31 years-old. Here are his career stats:

.306 BA, 476 HR, 1377 RBI, 1378 runs, 370 2B, 26 3B, 242 SB, 60 CS, 827 BB, 1419 K, .386 OBP, .577 SLG and 2 MVP Awards

2007 Stats:

.371 BA, 12 HR, 30 RBI, 20 runs, 6 2B, SB, 7 BB, 15 K, .431 OBP, 1.048 SLG

I have one question: How do Yankee fans boo this guy? Oh, yeah, I remember. He only hit 35 homers and drove in 121 last year. That makes sense.

ABOUT THAT PUJOLS GUY…

He hasn’t sucked this week (HR, 2 RBI, 5 BB, 3 singles, 15 FP) but he has not been dominate. I’m still for that AROD-like week.

Feel free to do it anytime soon buddy. Tool…

AS I WRITE THIS…

As I previously mentioned in this blog, the Royals had an unfathomable win on Wednesday and then followed it up with an 11-7 accidental victory versus the Twins on Friday. Right now, they are up 3-1 versus Boof Bonzer (yeah, he was on my fantasy team…I was desperate) in the 4^th inning. Dare I say it? Winning streak?????

Wait, I just remembered. We have David Riske. I take that back.

NBA PLAYOFFS

After a grueling three year long regular season, the NBA has finally started the playoffs. The first game of the best of 19 game series began today. Game two is scheduled for next month.

My prediction? Some team who could not win in the Olympics will win it all. That means it is wide open.

AS I WRITE THIS PART TWO…

Remember that Carlos Beltran guy I have been speaking of? Yeah, well he has put up another 11 fantasy points since I have started this blog.

Piece.

MID-WEEK POWER RANKINGS

1) Smurfs – Jerk.

2) Tones – Bye, bye King Felix.

3) KC – Piece.

4) Pez-Eaters – Okay, I’m going to be honest with you – I was expecting a better name.
Sorry, but, I just was. At least your team doesn’t suck though.

5) The Zou - The Zou = 2006 Cardinals. You have no business winning. You receive no points and may God have mercy on your soul.

6) 300* - So…you gonna start doing steroids again?

7) Schilbies – I still think your name is gay. Really. Very gay.

9098709487203498572093485720938475109847) Royal-Cubs – I suck.

I LEAVE YOU WITH THIS…

It in a clutch situation, the game tied at three in the bottom of the ninth (actually, it’s the fourth, but, just go with it) Alex Gordon has hit his second home run of his career. Move over Pujols, AROD, Babe Ruth, Ty Cobb, Hank Aaron, Willie Mays and…dare I say…George Brett – HERE COMES AGOR!

Oh, it should be noted that Greinke has thrown 78 pitches through four innings. Efficiency is what I call that. Efficiency. (P.S. He through 48 pitches in .2 innings his last start.)