Playoffs? You talkin' about playoffs? Playoffs?

Jason Bay and the Pirates still have a shot at the playoffs the way the NL Central is shaping up. What about teams in a league that actually matter?

Three weeks are left and only one thing has been decided: Joel is an idiot. That and three of the four playoff spots are locked up.

Yet somehow, out of nowhere, the idiot did the impossible and beat the team with the best record in the league by a massive margin.

As a result, the standings and remaining schedule look as such:

Kansas City
Smurfs 14-7: Zou, 300, Inoc.
Zou 13-8: Smurfs, Inoc., 300
Inoculators 13-8: 300, Zou, Smurfs
300 - no one cares

Gay Louis
PM’s 11-10: KC, Alba, Tones
Tones 11-10: Alba, KC, PM
KC - no one cares
Alba - no one cares

As you can see, there is a lot to be determined before the playoffs start. Therefore, I am obligated to break down scenarios. SWEET!

It should be noted that the division winners and the top two teams make the playoffs.

It should also be noted that it is statistically impossible for the Smurfs, Zou and Inoculators not to make the playoffs.

Additionally, the winner of the Gay Louis division receives the two seed.

Smurfs

The only way the Smurfs cannot make the playoffs is if I alter their record or if ESPN randomly adds 300 points to a previous opponent.

The only thing still up for grabs is the division and, subsequently, the number one seed. The Smurfs have the following records against their division:

3-0 vs. Zou
2-1 vs. Inoc.
3-0 vs. 300

The tie breaking scenarios look good for the Smurfs, so all he needs to do is stay ahead. It should be noted that no one has played a divisional matchup since the trade deadline. So the teams the Smurfs will be playing are not the same ones he has been playing all season.

If the Smurfs win two matchups, they win the division and the number one seed. If they lose two, then the division and the number one seed will be wide open.

The Smurfs are in.

The Smurfs win the division if: They win two or more matchups…other scenarios are possible as well.

The Smurfs win the One Seed if: See division.

The Smurfs are the three seed if: Inoculators or Zou win three, the opposite team lose at least two and Smurfs lose two.

The Smurfs are the four seed if: Smurfs lose three and Inoculators and Zou win at least two matchups each.

Zou

The Zou have a chance to win the division, but all hopes can be dashed if they do not win this week’s matchup with the Smurfs. If Zou wins, the Zou must win out and have the Smurfs lose one more time or Zou must win one of two and have the Smurfs lose both matchups. If Zou wins the division, he will also be the one seed.

Here is the Zou’s record vs. the contenders.

2-1 vs. Inoculators
2-1 vs. Tones
2-1 vs. PM
0-3 vs. Smurfs

The Zou is in.

The Zou wins the division if: Well, beat the Smurfs first and we’ll start talking.

The Zou wins the One Seed if: Win division.

Inoculators

First let’s look at the Inoculators record vs. the contenders:

2-1 vs. Tones
3-0 vs. PM
1-2 vs. Smurfs
1-2 vs. Zou

The Inoculators are in the playoffs because of tiebreakers over PM and Tones.

The Inoculators can win the division but they need a TON of help. Currently owning zero tie breakers doesn’t help. Here is one scenario that would have to happen if the Inoculators want to win the division:

Inoculators over 300 and Zou over Smurfs
Inoculators over Zou and Smurfs over 300
Inoculators over Smurfs

In other words, losing really isn’t an option.

What the Inoculators may want to focus on is the three seed. The three seed means not having to play either Zou or Smurfs in the first round and draw either the Tones or PM whom the Inoculators are 5-1 against this season.

The three seed may be the only way the Inoculators can clinch a league title.

Inoculators are in.

Inoculators win division if: Inoculators win three and Smurfs lose two. Other possibilities as well.

Inoculators three seed if: Inoculators beat Zou and 300, Zou loses to Smurfs. Other possibilities as well.

Inoculators four seed if: Inoculators lose two or more. Other possibilities as well.

Phantom Menaces and Tones

HERE is the battle to watch. What you need to know is the following:

PM vs. Division
1-2 vs. Tones
2-1 vs. Alba
2-1 vs. KC

Tones vs. Division
2-1 vs. PM
2-1 vs. KC
3-0 vs. Alba

Here are the scenarios:

First, of course, if one team wins two and the other loses two prior to the last week, then the last week doesn’t matter.

If the Tones and PM enter the final week of the season tied, the winner, obviously, wins the division and goes to the playoffs. The other sits at home.

If the Tones enter the final week one game back of PM and wins the final week, the Tones win the division based off their superior record over Alba.

Who would have thought that Joel could actually matter at the end of the season? The odds…