Thursday, July 19, 2007

Two Blogs in One: 5 Really Bad Trades and 9 Reasons to Hate the Smurfs


Chris Young was apart of one of the worst deals so far this season.

In 1987 the Kansas City Royals needed a catcher. A year removed from their first World Series Championship and after appearing in two World Series in seven years, the Royals felt that they were a player away from getting back to the series. And why not? They still had the tandem of George Brett and Frank White on the right side of the infield. Willie Wilson still patrolled center field and two young, slugging corner outfielders, Danny Tartablull and Bo Jackson.

All they needed was a young catcher. So, they turned to the World Series Champion New York Mets for their answers, trading a minor league prospect for a 26-year-old World Series Champion catcher named Ed Hearn.

However, Hearn would only play 13 games for the Royals in two seasons. Freak health problems led to three kidney transplants. Hearn was soon thereafter diagnosed with skin cancer. The Royals never got their young catcher.

The man they traded to get Hearn? A young pitcher by the name of David Cone. The same man who would win a Cy Young, World Series and throw a perfect game.

Trading, sometimes, can lead to disaster.

So far this year there have been 21 trades – but only five can be the Five Dumbest Trades of 2007.

5) Alba trades David Wright to Tones for Bronson Arroyo

Why: This trade may came back to haunt Alba at the end of the season. Looking at his roster, you will note that there are not very many "keeper-like" players on his roster. Wright is a good, young third baseman playing for a team that spends money. Additionally, he has Jose Reyes and Carlos Beltran hitting in front of him, providing several RBI opportunities.

Arroyo, by the way, was later dropped by Alba.

4) Smurfs trade Roy Halladay and Joe Nathan for Carlos Lee

Why: Carlos Lee is a nice pick-up. No doubt. But really, is he worth BOTH Roy Halladay AND Joe Nathan? Really? Additionally, Lee plays on a team where no one gets on base. Driving in runs and scoring at the pace he is at is going to be difficult. Especially late in the season when they are out of the race and younger, less experienced players are getting their hacks.

3) Alba trades Matt Holliday and Kevin Youkillis to 300 for Torii Hunter and Edgar Renteria

Why: Halliday and Youkillis are each having great seasons. Both are young and play for teams with great home parks and killer lineups.

Alba managed to trade both of them for older players on teams with weaker lineups. Well done.

2) Alba trades Chris Young to 300 for Melvin Mora

Why: If I have to give an explanation for this than your name is probably Joel.

1) BLACK MONDAY

Somehow, May 7, 2007, 300 managed to trade their entire team to for Albert Pujols and Ian Snell. Of seven players traded to 300 in the three trades made that REALLY early morning, only Snell and Blanton are still on the roster.

As for the Inoculators? Cole Hamels, David Ortiz, Roy Oswalt and Carlos Zambrano are still leading the miraculous charge from 0-5 and last place to 8-7 and second place.

300 now resides in last place.

Go figure.


NINE REASONS TO HATE THE SMURFS
(Note: All insults made towards Jason are a joke and are not serious feelings. Jason is more than welcome to write a response and make fun of me if he wishes.)

(Another note: What I wrote in the above note was a lie.)

I'm not going to lie about this, the one team I REALLY don't want to win this league is the "Krunk" Smurfs. Seriously, I can't stand that team.

Next to no skill has been used to build his 10-5, first place roster.

This is made evident in the following nine reasons why everyone should hate the Smurfs:

9) As in the number 9. Nine would be the TOTAL amount of roster moves made by the Smurfs this year. Clearly this is a sign that the Smurfs feel invincible. Which means he is cocky. Which means he is a bad Christian. Which means everyone should hate him.

8) Remember the draft? Remember how we did it in an AIM chat room? Remember how SOMEONE kept leaving and entering the chat room throughout the entire draft? Remember how SOMEONE took 50 years to enter his draft pick? I do.

7) Aaron Harang. Explain to me please how a man on a team that has lost 55 games, plays like they want the season to end tomorrow and has done all of this despite being in a division with Houston, St. Louis and Pittsburgh. Consider that and note that Harang's numbers are nothing short of, well, good? Not great. Not amazing. Not spectacular. Just decent. Yet somehow he is 10-2 (TWO LOSSES ON A 55 LOSS TEAM! WHAT KIND OF LUCK IS THAT?!) with WAY too many fantasy points. I cannot tell you how much this bugs me. What bugs me more is that he won't trade him even though the Reds are on the verge of tankig (if they aren't already).

6) He is a Mizzou fan.

5) All trade proposals, up to last week, made to the Smurfs always, somehow, mysteriously disappear. Not only does the Smurfs NOT reject your trade, he taunts you by making sit there for a week wondering if he ever get the message. What a pompous jerk.

4) The Smurfs NEVER comments on blogs or message boards. Ever.

Now, I know the individual who runs the Phantom Menaces has not commented publicly on a post, but he is restricted by SBU from commenting on anything I write. It is in his contract. So I understand his plight.

Jason is a different story. He is ignoring all of us because he thinks he is better than all of us. Well you are wrong Jason, you are only better than MOST of us. Kimball is better than you.

3) I am convinced he is the reason why the Royals have been terrible the last few years.

I am sure Jason has been acting as an agent for the Cardinals, injuring Sweeney every time he sees him and putting a curse on Royals ownership from doing anything smart.

Well, the chosen one is here Jason. His name is Dayton Moore. He can see through all of your wickedness.

2) The Smurfs are perpetuating the East Coast Bias. Six of his nine starting batters are on East Coast teams. Four of his seven backup position players are on East Coast teams. Five of the 14 pitchers on his roster are on East Coast teams.

Maybe we should rename the Smurfs to ESPN.

Jerk. It is people like you who make it tough on the blue collar workers of the midwest. I can't stand you.

1) HIS NAME IS THE "KRUNK SMURFS"! Seriously, how ridiculously ... umm ... ridiculous is that? COME ON! HE USED THE WORD "KRUNK"! AND HE IS WHITE!

Now, using the word "Krunk" may have been funny if Jason was SO white that this would be funny because it would be the exact opposite of him. The problem is that, as stated previously, Jason is a MIZZOU fan which makes him white trash. This is not the context is which humor can be derived.

And "Smurfs"? Really? I have a question – are you sure you're straight? I mean, you're a Mizzou fan, you named your team after a little blue cartoon man, you drafted Alex Rodriguez ... there is no way you could be straight.

1 comment:

tonester_84 said...

ya.......the name screams homosexuality.....unlike......VERY unlike my name