I GOT DRAFTED! BY THE ROYALS! I GOT DRAFTED BY THE ROYALS! I RULE!
Yeah that’s right, all of those little league years at Kansas City Baptist Temple got me some recognition.
If you do not know what I am talking about, check out the guy the Royals picked in the fourth round. Yep, me baby, me.
NIELSEN TAKEN IN FOURTH ROUND BY ROYALS says the headline. I rule.
Anyway, I will be packing my bags for the Arizona Fall League soon so I have some breaking news for Andrew: I’m breaking the lease. I’m not paying rent. I’m not paying utilities. I’m a professional ballplayer now, I can be a prick like that. However, I may leave a signed baseball on the counter for you…but don’t count on it.
Now that I have been drafted, I have to think of some goals for myself. Most people would consider various logical goals such as:
1. Become an All-Star
2. Become a team hall of famer
3. Become a state hall of famer
4. Have my number retired by my high school, college and team
5. Also make their hall of fames
6. Become a hall of famer that matters…the Bolivar hall of fame
Optional goal:
Become a major league baseball hall of famer.
But I, newly drafted Royals player, have other goals. They are as such:
1. Sign an AROD-like contract…times two…thousand…million…bajilion…yeah
2. Sign a LeBron-like endorsement deal times three…yep, just three
3. Buy ESPN, move it to KC and create a “midwest bias”
4. Even though I am a quadrillion billion fillionaire, never pay Andrew for the rent I would owe him. Ever.
5. Or utilities. Ever.
6. Refuse to live in anything but a tin trailer, but have it loaded with all kinds of expensive gadgets.
7. Continue to drive a 1994 Oldsmobile Cutlass SE and continue to ask my parent for gas money.
8. Buy the Chiefs, fire Carl Peterson, then sell the Chiefs…all in one day
9. Ask Andrew for five bucks, when he refuses, hire a legal team to somehow take over all of his assets – leaving him homeless- find him on the streets and then ask him again for five bucks
10. Buy a Subway
There it is, my goals. I hope you like them.
Now I’m just going to find an agent and wait for that contract to come my way…
OKC's Sam Presti is an overrated draft savant
5 weeks ago
2 comments:
So youre not going to pay rent or bills huh?
Just remember...you may be a millionaire ball player but oh how soon you forget...I am an award winning writer for the "National Enquirer of the Midwest"...THE OMNIBUS!!! I WON HONORABLE MENTION GOSH DARN IT!!! I will libel your name so bad you wont even know what hit you...
...remember those steroids allegatoins??? Those will come back.
...Your secret relationship with Tony???Thats going to haunt you forever.
...That night out with Daniel Cortes??? You dont remember any of it but I have pictures of YOU as well as of Cortes asleep on the pot.
So just remember before you pull out of rent and bills that I own you Mr Nielsen!!
OH and I know about your involvement with Tank Johnson too...enough said!
how the hell did i get in this??
Post a Comment