Winners, Losers, Week Six Review, Week Seven, Ultimate Lineup

I’m 1-0! I’m 1-0!

You guys suck.

Wait, those other games weren’t preseason? Crap.

Well then…I’m 1-5! I’m 1-5!

It took six weeks, but I FINALLY have a win. Anybody find it odd that it coincides with my trade of Albert Pujols? Or that they guy I traded Pujols to had a great fantasy point week, but inexplicably had to deal with a team that went off for 388 points? Just saying.

Actually, that’s all I have to say…

NEXT TOPIC!

ULTIMATE LINEUP

Catcher – Jason Varitek, FA, 28
Backup – Russell Martin, Tones, 26

1B – Dan Johnson, FA, 48
Backup – Justin Morneau, Schilbies, 34

2B – Julio Lugo, KC, 30
Backup – Luis Castillo, FA, 25

3B – Alex Gordon…just kidding. Actually it was Mike Lowell, 300, 36
Backup – Andy LaRoche, FA, 35

SS – Derek Jeter, KC, 37
Backup – Rafael Furcal, FA, 27

LF – Jack Cust, FA, 33
Backup – Manny Ramirez, R-C, 28

CF – Ken Griffey Jr., KC, 34
Backup – Gary Mathews Jr., Schilbies, 32

RF – Magglio Ordonez, PM, 34
Backup – Vladimir Guerrero, KC, 32

DH – David Ortiz, R-C, 36
Backup – Jay Gibbons, FA, 25

Starting Pitchers
1 Brad Penny, PM, 90
2 Kelvim Escobar, R-C, 64
3 Jason Marquis, Tones, 56
4 Randy Wolf, Tones, 55
5 Roy Oswalt, R-C, 53

Backups
1 Ted Lily, KC, 51
2 Jose Contreras, FA, 48

Relief Pitchers
1 Brad Lidge, FA, 35
2 Jonah Bayliss, FA, 33

Backups
1 Billy Wagner, PM, 32
2 Rafael Soriano, Zou, 32

WEEK 6 REVIEW

I want to keep this short and sweet so here we go..

KC vs R-C – HAHAHA you lost to ME! You suck KC!

Zou vs Schilbies – Schilb…yeah…I don’t know what else to say. Zou – your end is near…

Smurfs vs Tones – Jason you just got raped. And you lost Holliday too. Tones – you get Hernandez back this week. You suck.

300 vs PMs – First, I want to say that I have renamed the Phantom Menaces (PM) to the Bowel Movements (BM). Second, I want to say that I hope you enjoy being cursed 300 and that you remember that everyone dies at the end of 300. BM – umm…I would really appreciate it if you did not put another 388 spot this week. How about you go for – oh lets say – 147? Sound good? Great.

WEEK 7 PREVIEW

Match-up of the week HAS to be the Tones and 300. Why? Because 300 is going to fall hard.

The strikeouts of Santana, Hernandez and Dice-K will blot out the sun and 300 will not be able to fight in the shade because it makes it harder to hit.

In all honesty, 300 put up 300-plus points last week and the Tones have the ability to put up just as many. I will be fun to see how high the totals get.
Players to not suck – King Felix, Tones and Dice-K, Tones and Santana (he needs to get a nickname), Tones

Prediction – Tones over 300 by 1.5 points

Other Matchups

KC vs The Zou – I’m just going to be honest here, I want the Zou to lose. No reason other than I just hate you.

Prediction – KC over Zou by 7.98 million

Schilbies vs Smurfs – Unless the Smurfs lineup starts hitting again, this could be a very low scoring matchup. I give the edge to the Smurfs because of his closers.

Prediction – Smurfs over Schilbies

R-C vs BM – I win.

Prediction – R-C over the Movements of the Bowel (you know, I hope I’m spelling this right.)