Week Preview plus HOT/cold

Week Preview

Phantom Menaces – Coming off a loss to the Zou, PM takes on an inferior oppontent in the Dynamite. Good timing, given Chase Utley is day-to-day this week.

The Zou – After a HUGE win over the Menaces, the Zou should get win number 10 this week versus the Rasmi. The return of Curtis Granderson and pitching from Chad Billingsley has been key for the Zou lately.

Hancock’s Halos – A narrow win is a narrow win (even though he won by, like, 100 points). The recent dominance of C.C. Sabathia is keeping the Halos on top of the Losers division.

Cockies - An unfortunately loss to the Halos gives the Cockies an uphill battle from here on out. Justin Duchscherer and Dustin Pedroia are keeping him in the fight for the division and a playoff berth.

Roid Needles – The steroids are starting to catch up with the Needles as they have lost three in a row after a five week winning streak. No help seems to be in sight as The Zou and Halos are his next two opponents.

Inoculators – The Inoculators have a chance to get back to .500 and a the playoff race with a win over the Cockies. Jermaine Dye and Carlos Quentin have combined for almost 200 points in the last two weeks.

Smurfs – Eight straight losses have doomed the Smurfs, who are now looking towards next season. On the bright side, Jonathan Sanchez has been a nice pick up for him.

KC – KC is going to need a huge second half if he is going to sneak into the playoffs. Ian Kinsler certainly isn’t hurting him, scoring 107 fantasy points over the last two weeks. After a hot start, Lance Berkman is starting to cool off a little.

Rasmi –John Lackey has produced 119 points in his last three starts, making the Rasmi a formidable opponent despite the 4-9 record.

Dynamite – A report in the New York Times suggests the Dynamite’s struggles are directly related to their name. A little change can go a long way.

HOT/cold

Hot
Halos – Three straight wins is the leagues longest active winning streak.
Carlos Delgado – Three home runs, 10 RBI (nine in one game) in the last week.
Evan Longoria – Three home runs, 10 RBI and 7 runs scored last week.
A.J. Burnett – 2-0, 18 K in 15 innings pitched last week.
Jonathan Papelbon – 3 saves, 4 K and zero hits in 2.2 innings last week.

Cold
Smurfs – Eight straight losses.
Paul Byrd – 0-3, 22 hits, 13 ER in 17 innings in the last two weeks.
Bronson Arroyo – 1-2, 17 ER, 23 hits in 13.1 innings the last two weeks, including 10 ER in one inning.
Jack Cust – 4-for-22, 11 K and 2 XBH last week.
Manny Ramirez – 5-for-23, 9 K, 2 XBH and one team personnel assaulted last week.
Prince Fielder – 1-for-24, 7 K, 0 XBH last week.

The Return

So, as I was saying before I was rudely interrupted, I am the slowest starting fantasy team on the planet. And the unluckiest. (I don’t want to hear it Dynamite.)
Here are some quick thoughts on both divisions and the teams within them.

Winners

Phantom Menaces 10-3 (4615.5)
Note: Have I told you lately how much I hate you, Kimball? There is NO WAY Cliff Lee keeps this up forever. You’ll see (I hope).

The Zou 9-4 (4644.5)
Note: Keeping Tim Lincecum – good idea. Keeping Troy Tulowitzki – bad idea.

Inoculators 6-7 (4623.5)
Note: First seven match-ups – 2-5. Last six match-ups – 4-2. God, I’ve got to stop doing this slow start thing.

Rasmusi 4-9 (4446.5)
Note: You do realize that Colby Rasmus sucks, don’t you?

Smurfs 3-10 (3459.5)
Note: Eight straight losses for the Smurfs. That’s two full months. You are terrible. And blue.

Losers

Halos 10-3 (4887.5)
Note: I predict your team will die before week twenty.

Cockies 8-5 (4291.5)
Note: You’re name still sucks and you are benefiting from great luck. With that said, I’m bitter.

Roid Needles 7-6 (4067)
Note: Overrated.

KC 4-9 (4177.5)
Note: I’m just going to go ahead and assuming you’re not paying attention to your team anymore given that you are still continuing to start Kevin Correia and Kenji Johjima. That’s the only logical explanation.

Dynamite 4-9 (4257.5)
Note: Ten bucks says your bad luck is directly related to your team name. Ten bucks.