The Return

So, as I was saying before I was rudely interrupted, I am the slowest starting fantasy team on the planet. And the unluckiest. (I don’t want to hear it Dynamite.)
Here are some quick thoughts on both divisions and the teams within them.

Winners

Phantom Menaces 10-3 (4615.5)
Note: Have I told you lately how much I hate you, Kimball? There is NO WAY Cliff Lee keeps this up forever. You’ll see (I hope).

The Zou 9-4 (4644.5)
Note: Keeping Tim Lincecum – good idea. Keeping Troy Tulowitzki – bad idea.

Inoculators 6-7 (4623.5)
Note: First seven match-ups – 2-5. Last six match-ups – 4-2. God, I’ve got to stop doing this slow start thing.

Rasmusi 4-9 (4446.5)
Note: You do realize that Colby Rasmus sucks, don’t you?

Smurfs 3-10 (3459.5)
Note: Eight straight losses for the Smurfs. That’s two full months. You are terrible. And blue.

Losers

Halos 10-3 (4887.5)
Note: I predict your team will die before week twenty.

Cockies 8-5 (4291.5)
Note: You’re name still sucks and you are benefiting from great luck. With that said, I’m bitter.

Roid Needles 7-6 (4067)
Note: Overrated.

KC 4-9 (4177.5)
Note: I’m just going to go ahead and assuming you’re not paying attention to your team anymore given that you are still continuing to start Kevin Correia and Kenji Johjima. That’s the only logical explanation.

Dynamite 4-9 (4257.5)
Note: Ten bucks says your bad luck is directly related to your team name. Ten bucks.